When it comes right down to it, is the money worth it?

Back to work after a long weekend....Yuck.
Despite the rain and dreariness of a CNY end-of-May day, it doesn't seem right to be back at work after such a wonderful weekend. I feel as though I need to be away from work for a few more days. What I wouldn't give to be snuggled up on the couch at the Nob, watching the rain fall on the pond. What I wouldn't give to be anywhere...but here.


Alas, here I am at the office, listening to my voice mail, checking my e-mail and wondering what it would be like to love my job so much that I would be thrilled to be here. It's too much of a leap, one my mind cannot grasp from where I am right now.

Last week, I had an opportuinity to interview for two [outside] positions. I was thrilled to have been offered one of them even though the pay decrease made it impossible for me to accept. There was something slighlty tragic about declining the offer because I know that I would've loved the job. Why does it always boil down to the money? The other position, which would've doubled my current salary was offered to another candidate, and, while a part of me was saddened by this, another part of me was somewhat relieved. Did I really want the doubled salary in exchange for what would likely be double the hours?

This morning, driving into work, I found myself reconsidering my hasty declination of the first position. In my mind, I produced an e-mail to the leader of the search committee--- "Did you make an offer to someone else? Is it too late for me to reconsider my decision?"

Now, sitting here in my momentarily quiet office, amidst countless pink phone message slips, paperwork and e-mails, I can hear my Mom saying, "It's not 'work' if you are doing something you love," and this morning, I find myself acknowledging how absolutely true this is. Is money really so important that I've allowed it to dictate my professional happiness? Is it too late for me to opt for doing something I would love, even if it means less money in the bank?

The answer, albeit simple, is not always easy. It is never too late.

It is easy to look at things from a money-point-of-view when you are not wealthy but it's not always easy to look at things from a happiness-point-of-view when you are not happy. When it comes right down to it, the money seems to win out. How sad this is.

I have phone messages to return. I have paperwork to complete and letters to mail. I have a meeting in an hour and two appointments this afternoon. And, of course, there is that e-mail to send...I will do that before all else.